Journal Entry: June 11, 2001.
I had the Dream again. That’s the third time this week. I don’t know what it could mean though. Perhaps if I write it down in detail again it will help me understand.
It is in the Dark Ages. I am guessing that it is probably somewhere between 1000-1100 AD. A girl, 16 or 17, dressed in a dark purple gown, with a midnight blue cape is walking down an alleyway. She reaches a dead end and she mutters a few words to quiet to hear. A door suddenly appears. She goes through it and it vanishes. When she enters the room she takes off the hood of her cape to reveal golden hair as bright as the sun. It tumbles out and falls to her mid back. She pauses briefly and then heads further into the building. The girl walks into the next dark void.
She produces a wand from a hidden pocket, found beneath her cloak. She begins some sort of chant and several flames from torches appeared, to reveal a stairway with paintings on the walls. The lass begins the descent of the stairs and breaks into a moan or humming of a tune. The music itself feels magical and then the atmosphere changes. We find her in an open meadow.
She walks to a tree and whistles one sharp note and a unicorn gallops up to her. She then gracefully swings onto the great creature’s back and rides to a nearby mountain. Our enchantress then pats the unicorn, gives it something to eat and it quickly departs. The golden lady levitates and passes over the mountain. We find her floating over a secluded meadow valley on the other side of the mountain. On the boarder of the meadow is a pristine beach with lapping waves. At the serene scene of the beach, she sits down and starts meditating. Breathing in an out slowly to a point where it was only one breath an hour. This meditation lasted for days.
Without warning, vicious storm clouds rolled over the serene calm of the beach. Thunder sounded and red lightning flashed. Being startled our mysterious girl opened her eyes and stood up quickly. She broke into a run although it seemed she that she was going nowhere. In a final attempt to escape the rising water, she began sprinting. She was knocked down by a large wave that looked like a large claw. When it receded the girl was nowhere to be found.
She reappears safely in the valley, as the forward motion of the wave pushed her forward rather then encompassing her. She stood up and shook herself off. The appearance of safety quickly disappeared with the occurrence of an earthquake. The trees shook and the ground parted. Just as she was about to fall into a fissure, a griffon swooped down and picked her up. They flew over the mountain and landed in the original plain. Almost home, the girl desperately searched for the rock, which located her entry point.
The storm continued to diminish her strength. At the point where she felt she could handle no more, a dark man appeared in the shadows and slowly walked in the plain, tossing lightning bolts, which began a fire in his wake. The ground trembled as he walked towards her. His words rang like thunder as he spoke. “So you are as pathetic as they say. Great Enchantress indeed! I have not seen anything worthwhile. That transfer spell was very elementary. If you are so powerful, why didn’t you go straight back to your little annex? Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to destroy you. But wait; maybe I ought to kill your friends first. Whom shall I start with, let us see, there is that Boy. What is his name? Me thinks it is Jason! On the other hand, how about the princess, or her handmaidens? ”
Nervously, the girl kept her back to the rocks. The dark man again spoke. “Of course there are those peasant girls or maybe even the Merchant’s daughter.” At that point, he brings out a crystal ball that has people’s images inside. He ponders, “Enney, meany, miney, mo, the princess will be the first to go.” No! The enchantress cried, and as she screamed she sent a bolt of amethyst light through the ball, which caused it to shatter. “Impressive, but it is not enough to stop me”. As he said this, the stone enclosed her hands and feet. “You will now see the end of your friends.” Just then, two creatures resembling ogres dragged in a girl. The girl yells, “Let me go you big trolls. Where is my reward? I told you where to find the enchantress! ” She then saw the lass in purple shackled to the wall. “See, you have already caught her, now let me have what I was promised.” As the enchantress gazed at the new comer, She managed to gasp, “Esire, you have betrayed me.” The evil one then spoke, “Enough, you will get what you deserve after I torture her.”
Esire, in a screaming rage, attacked the man and then turned into a snake. The wizard said, “Oh well, that is what treachery deserves. I will find another agent. But first…” With a wave of his hand several of the trolls brought in a boy, a girl who was fashionably dressed, and several others. With a zap of blood red lightning, each one shriveled to ashes. The shackled girl began sobbing when a bolt from the dark lord was hurled towards her.
I woke up screaming. What scared me the most is the enchantress; she looks exactly like me. We share the same nose, wavy gold hair, and deep bluish, purple eyes. The similarities between her and I go even further. I also have friends that resemble the girl that was fashionably dressed, as well as some of the others. Some of the characters I don’t recognize, but only one stands out. Jason feels so familiar to me, yet I don’t know him. So journal, I close with that thought, I will ponder more on it and record my thoughts later.
My mother’s ranting broke me from my train of thought. “Sandra, Sandra” she screeched in her nasally high-pitched voice, “You don’t want to be late”. “I’m coming” I yelled and tossed my journal in my purple shoulder bag. I don’t know what’s with my mom. I’m 16, a straight A+ student, and completely responsible. And she still nags at me with that annoying voice of hers. I took several deep breaths, looked around my room, and headed out to my beat up Burgundy “85” Camry. It is a trustworthy car, but has seen its better days. I pulled out of the driveway of my home, for the four-hour drive to Hazelnut Lake Summer Camp. I knew there would be a traffic problem around the city, but the rest of the drive would be a serene trip through tree-laden countryside.
The trip was a spectacular treat. I went past dense forest areas, and after the mountains I passed a large blue lake. I even saw a white stallion. The only part of the drive I disliked was when I went past devils Haven, a marshy bog full of over grown vines and the smell of decay and rot. I swear that place is as ominous as its name. There’s even a rumor that the snakes in that place are cannibalistic.
As I reached my turn off, I noticed a rock formation that resembled a griffon. I pulled onto my exit and knew I was within miles of the camp parking lot.
My car was dependable as I expected and it got me to the parking lot of Hazelnut. I couldn’t help wondering why I decided to council at the camp anyway. I guess it was to get a way from it all. My family, peers, school and especially society were all stress factors. It had been a bad year. My parents got divorced, my best friend moved away, and just because of my good grades, the majority of kids at school found me to strange to hang with. I also figured that working with 9 & 10 year olds all summer would be better then sitting by the phone waiting for a babysitting job with a two-year-old. The pay was ok, and the scenery was good for my karma.
I jumped out of my car and scanned the roster for my name. It turned out that I was Cabin Leader of the “Apple Blossom” cabin, and my Assistant Cabin Leader was a girl named Ellen. I checked in at the lodge and headed down a moss-covered path in the woods to the Apple Blossom site. As soon as I found where it was, I went back to my car to haul my backpack and clothes to the cabin.
As I was pulling my second bag out, I saw the Jason of my dream. It was him! He had the same dark green eyes, ash blond hair, gentle smile and laid back demeanor. His tawny muscular body made me melt. I though I was losing my mind. It was so weird to have dreamed of a person and witness them destroyed last night, then the next day see them in reality. I was scared out of my skin. I quickly retreated to my cabin. Inside was my Assistant Cabin Leader. My retreat actually caused my second shock because Ellen looked just like Esire, the traitor, who turned into a snake.
Things were getting weirder by the minute. I never considered myself psychic, so this dé jà vu gave me the sickening feeling this had happened before. I couldn’t be a coincidence that all this was happening to me. The dream, the impulse to come to this camp, all those sites on my drive, and the boy and Ellen, had to mean something. The mountains, trees, white stallion, Devil’s Haven, griffon, and the rocks it was made from, were all from my dream. They had to have some meaning other wise it wouldn’t be happening. Could I change what ever is coming from happening? Perhaps dreaming again will bring that answer to me.
By the time I was unpacked it was almost 3:00 p.m. I had just enough time to run through the woods and still be on time for a very important staff meeting. I got to the lodge out of breath, and sat down. I scanned the crowd and located Ellen and Mr. Dream Boy. I was just sitting there by myself when all of a sudden I heard my name being called.
“Sandra, Sandra? Is that you?” I whirled around in my seat, and to my surprise I saw my best friend, Anna Brinhan, coming out of the forest. I quickly jumped out of my seat and ran to meet her. “Oh my gosh, it is you!” she exclaimed. We quickly hugged, and then we started walking back to our seat. “What are you doing here?” I asked. “Well, I was reading a thing of camps that I could council at and this one just caught my eye, I thought it would be fun to be back in Montana.” she replied. I was about to say something more when a sudden flash of my dream came to me and made me shudder. Anna was the princess of my dream. I had seen my best friend die. It was not a pretty thought, or picture. All I could do was briefly smile at her. “Anything wrong?” she asked me. “ If I told you, you would think I was crazy.” I replied. “No I wouldn’t,” she pressed. “I’ll tell you later, in private, the meetings about to start.”
I met Anna in Kindergarten. We contrast so much from each other that a lot of people thought we never would stick together. She was athletic and talkative; I was quiet and more academic. But all the way we stuck together, through thick and thin, good and bad. That was until last August when her dad got a job offer as president of a very large bank in New York. We had been writing each other, but after my parents go divorced, I slacked off on it. So I was really surprised to see her at camp. I had wanted to see her so bad just to let it all out. Maybe I am psychic or something. How else could I have gone to the same camp as Anna? I thought back to my dream. The enchantress, my apparent ESP, it all was connected some how. Maybe I do have some kind of magical powers. Perhaps my dream is predicting that something is going to happen, or revealing an event that happened in a past life. Was it possible? Could I have been that enchantress who had just defeated an evil foe? A protector that was helplessly weak after the battle and had to recuperate by meditating, was interrupted in the middle of the process, and caught in her handicap by the darkest evil?
Thousands of questions ran through my head at the same time, rushing over me like a great wave. I was in the middle of this when Anna laid her hand on my shoulder.
“Are you absolutely sure your ok?” she asked. “Yeah just fine” I answered, “I was just thinking.” “You promise you’ll tell me later?” “Cross my heart”. I was about to add, “Hope to die” when I decided it wasn’t a good idea. We sat there for a few minutes in silence between all the talking and buzzing of every one around us. It seemed to last forever, until a guy named Fred, or Ted, or something like that came on to the stage.
“Welcome staff, to the 2000 Hazelnut summer camp program. As many of you know, this is our 13th year of summer camp for children. However this year we have a new owner, Mr. Lucifer Pernicies. However since Mr. Pernicies was unable to make it to this meeting because of a business meeting, we will have to skip the owner-staff pep talk. As some of you might know, before the recent sale of this camp, it was the property of Mr. and Mrs. Nicholas Carley. Sadly, The Corley’s were in a fatal car accident a few months ago and Mr. Pernicies kindly left the camp as a camp. But enough about that, let’s go into staff introductions.”
At that point I lost interest in what was going on. Something inside of me told me that there was something wrong about the whole Mr. Pernicies thing. You could call it paranoia, but I had this sneaking suspicion that all that was happening had some thing to do with me. It was like forces unknown to me: good and evil, were setting up a chess game, with me as a pawn. And if I was a pawn then Anna, Ellen, and Mr. Dream Boy were probably pawns too.
Suddenly, Anna nudged me to tell me it was my turn to go up. I felt pretty sheepish walking up the stage saying my name, position and what cabin I was in and then walking back down to my seat. That was what made me decide to stay focused during the rest of the meeting. By the time I was sitting down again, that guy was up on stage. His name was Joshua. He was in the Oak Cabin. All of a sudden I knew that the Oak Cabin was through some trees, and past the fire pit from Apple Blossom. It had a great view of the lake. I didn’t even stop to wonder where the info came from, I just went with it and decided I would hike up there later. After introductions were over, what’s his name, um; Ed got back on stage. He started mumbling about some baseball game Councilors against activity and kitchen staff, to take place the next day, as well as some other irrelevant announcements. As soon as he was done, Anna had me on my feet quicker then you could say “it” and then we left the circle, and headed for the forest and were gone out of site in the blink of an eye.
We kept running until we came to a secluded place in the forest. I sat down and started doing some deep breathing to calm my pulse and regain my breath. We sat there for 10 maybe 20 minutes just looking at each other and then Anna broke the silence. “I haven’t heard from you for almost 6 months. What’s wrong, did something happen?” she asked as if this was some sort of investigation.
“Nothing really” I said hesitantly, and then I decided to tell her the truth. “ No that’s not true, its just that, well, My parents broke up like a month after you left, at first it was no big deal but then things started to fall apart.” “Oh Sandra, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” “Wait, let me finish.” I interrupted.
“I separated myself from the rest of our classmates, and I plunged my self into my studies. I even stopped taking a lunch because all I wanted to do was read and learn, anything to take me away from the pain.” At this point I stopped to keep myself from bursting out and crying. “Then a few months ago I began having this strange dream. I’ll spare you the details but it’s mainly about a girl, who either looks exactly like me or is me, who is murdered by some means of magic after she watches her friends be murdered. One of those people is you.”
Anna was about to comment when I heard something. I lifted my finger to my lips. “Did you hear that?” I asked. “Hear what?” she asked as she glanced at me questioningly. “The bushes moving.” I answered. “Let’s check it out, you look over there and I’ll check right here.” I whispered after a few more seconds. I parted the bushes and stepped into the undergrowth.
Every thing was pretty quiet as far as I could see: I scanned the area again and noticed a great hawk sitting on a tree branch above me. I looked in his eyes to find a great depth beyond a normal bird’s eyes would have. I felt I could fall in and find a person, a great wealth of knowledge and an open secret. They were familiar yet new to me.
Suddenly a huge black Raven started to attack heading for my eyes. The Hawk gracefully swooped out of his tree and knocked the Raven from his course. A great wave of dé jà vu swept over me, I had seen this before, I knew I had seen this before.
The ground melted away and I was falling swirling down to an abyss of nothingness. A great blackness was diving after me taking its shape as a raven at least 50 times as gigantic as it had been in the forest. However the hawk had also grown huge and went under me catching me on his back. He flew over the bottomless pit and we landed on a grassy plain. I dismounted and stared off at where I had almost fallen to my death. I looked behind me where the Hawk had been and a boy stood there shaking off feathers that soon disappeared in flashes of white light. He turned and asked, “Are you ok?” My body went into shock, the boy who had been a bird, was Josh. I attempted to move but a cloud swept over my vision and I blacked out.
“Sandra! Wake up, oh please wake up, you need to wake up” Anna was shouting at me as she was kneeling above me. I opened my eyes, started to get up and managed to choke out “What happened” before she started pulling me up. I glanced over and found myself in the forest, and then I saw the hawk and remembered what had happened. We made eye contact and then he flew away.
“Are you ok?” asked Anna. “ Huh? What did you say?” I responded. “Geese you have been spacing out way to much today. Anyway, I asked if you were ok.” “Oh yeah just fine, I think I just got dizzy and fell and then got knocked out. I had a weird dream though, but I don’t think its any thing serious.” “You sure?” she pressed. “Yeah, I’m positive.” I responded, then added “Hey its almost time for dinner, lets head for the mess hall, eating might get me some energy back.”
“That’s a good idea, let’s go.” “Ok” I said “But we’re going to walk this time right?” “Yeah sure, come on.” At that Anna grabbed my hand and we proceeded to run through the forest in a sprint. By the time we reached the mess hall I was about to pass out. We sat down at the nearest table.“ I thought you said that we’re were not going to run.” I gasped. “Hey we needed the exercise.” Anna said with a laugh.” “Yeah, sure we did, and it’s going to take me forever to get my breath back again.” I retorted. After a few seconds of silence, I stood up. “Where are you going?” Anna asked me. “Gee, lets see, we’re in the mess hall, I was kind of thinking you eat in a mess hall.” “ Well you don’t have to be so negative about it.” I kept on walking.
“Sandra, are you sure your ok?” She persisted, as we got closer to the food line. “ I don’t really know, I feel like something is eating up my insides, and needs to be released.” I said after a while. “Ok,” she said, “but tell me if I can help any.” “I will.” I replied and we stepped into the serving room.
I then turned my attention to the oily pizza, chips, and sugary juice drink that would serve as my dinner, I sighed and grabbed a couple slices of plain cheese and made my way back to the table we were sitting at. I absently stared at the cone shaped pieces of bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese, as I thought only about the weirdness of the day, then lifted up a piece and took a bite. Anna came back over with another girl and sat down. She waited as I finished chewing a cheesy, zesty bite of the pizza.
“Sandra, this is Kali, my ACL. Kali, this is Sandra, My best friend since kindergarten.” Said Anna with a big smile. “Nice to meet you” I said to the Assistant Cabin Leader as I reached over to shake her hand. “Likewise” Kali replied returning the smile. We began talking about where we were from and small talk like that, as we ate the pizza that was way better then it looked. All I could think about though was how Kali resembled a person from my dream that got toasted like a moth in fire. A little later Anna commented on having no napkins. I told her not to worry about it and I went up to get some.
I walked up and grabbed some napkins of the condiment table. I turned around quick and bumped into a guy right behind me. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry” I blurted, and then realized it was Josh. “Its ok” he replied, “Here let me get that for you” and he crouched down to pick up my fallen napkins. “So, your Sandra, right?” I nodded, unable to get out the words. “Hi, I’m Josh. Hey you don’t happen to be going to watch the baseball game tomorrow are you?” “I guess.” I managed to choke out. “I guess I’ll see you there then, bye.” He said and then smiled as he walked away.
I almost couldn’t control myself. He had just asked me out on an unofficial date. I felt as I was about to faint. I walked back to the table napkins in hand and in an amazed state. I couldn’t believe it. I hadn’t known a guy like that ever; I hadn’t even had a date before in my whole life. I sat back down. Anna looked at me questionably. “I just got asked to the baseball game.” I said to answer the silent question. “Oh my gosh that is so great, Way to go Sandra!” “It’s not that big of a deal,” I said after I took the last swallow of my juice. “But any way, I’m going to go for a walk, I’ll see you later.” I then got up tossed the remainder of the pizza and the plastic cup into the garbage and headed out the door.
The Door slammed shut behind me as I stepped out into the cool evening air. It was pleasant on my skin and slightly intoxicating with the scent of wild roses. I inhaled the fragrant air and started walking to the woods.
I needed to think, and sort out every thing that had happened in the day. I felt a need to run, a need to be alone. The cool air whispered of a quiet place that I could meditate in. With a burst of speed I dashed away from the mess hall. I arrived in the forest without a preplanned destination, and let my instincts guide me. I kept running, going faster and faster and as I ran it seemed as the world was frozen in place. A hedge appeared in front of me; I was going to fast to stop, so I simply jumped over, and in a flash of light I was in a completely different place.
I was facing the sun that was setting on a still ocean. The colors of the sun reflected on the glassy surface of the water, and I felt a comfort in the natural stillness of it all. I found myself standing in a stone circle surrounded by exotic flowers from all over the universe.
Great stone pillars ornamented with dragons and unicorns stood at the far edge next to steps by the water. I walked between two large trees that bore strange silver fruit, finally arriving at the water after making my way through a small maze of rose bushes with brightly colored flowers.
I reached the end of the semi circle and stood in between the pillars and then gazed into the great expanse of still water. For a moment I thought I heard whispers of memories sweep around me. It was like this place I was now in was meant to be my haven. Then I looked down into my reflection, and stepped back in shock and then landed in a rose bush directly behind me.
Pale pink petals and the sweet perfume of the flowers flew around me like a tornado as I struggled out of the bush. I rose and brushed my self off only to discover that I had scratched up my right arm. I carefully picked out the thorns remaining in my skin, trying to ignore the needles of pain each one had become.
I staggered back over to the water, peeling off the button up shirt I had on over my tank top. I kneeled down, dipped it into the water and looked at my reflection again. It appeared as it had before dressed in pure white from head to toe, and radiating an aura of gold light. The only difference was my wound that was glowing bright violet against my skin. I looked at the strange reflection for a time and then cleaned my arm with my wet shirt. After washing the blood away I tied the shirt around my arm as an impromptu bandage and then sat down in lotus style on the warm stone.
At last I had time to think in then craziness of the day. It didn’t matter that I reached my destination during a bizarre moment. All that mattered was I was finally in my thinking place. The serene calm of the sea and the crisp cool air vibrated around me, allowing for all my troubles to float away in a bubble. The sun felt warm on my face and shoulders as it started to set. The brilliant shades of blue, yellow, pink, purple, and orange washed the sky like watercolor as stars sparkled like little white diamonds in the twilight. Then slowly a melody was born, quietly at first and gradually building in a grand crescendo.
The ground spiraled from underneath me and a light feather mist rose around me as the sunset accelerated, then the moon rose full like the largest and most magnificent diamond among the stars in the black velvet sky. The mist cleared and I found myself floating on a cloud above the water, facing myself, or was it the enchantress of my dream?
“Who are you?” I asked trembling as my voice echoed across the water. “I am of many names” the reply came, “I am Sonal Sophia the Golden Wisdom. I am Saher Sana, I am you.”
My body jolted into shock, “Why” I asked. “The time is not yet right. Find the old man, child of the stars, find the ancient one.” The mist rose again as her last words echoed and faded. I closed my eyes and the surroundings changed as the mist dissolved. The sun warmed my face, the scent of wild roses perfumed the air and I stood outside the mess hall facing the sunset. Shivers of shock and confusion ran down my spine, the air became stale, my vision blurred and darkness rose around me.
A hawk flies toward the glorious rainbow sunset, over an endless sea of trees. The air silently rushes over his great golden wings as he sails over the quiet forest.
Movement below changes the great birds focus, and he swiftly swoops down and dives on the unwary mass of fur and flesh that had been nibbling on a bit of grass. He clenches it tightly in his great talons snapping the neck so it feels no pain and continues his journey above the green ocean.
A clearing appears as the first stars appear above the horizon. The hawk begins circling, preparing to land. As he gets closer shapes emerge from the green. A small cottage with smoke rising from its chimney, pile of wood and a few tables fill only a small fraction of the circular area 30 feet in diameter.
A man with silver gray hair emerges from the hut as the hunter circles lower and drops the corpse of the rabbit on to one of the tables near a skinning knife and pelt rack. He makes a quick sweep upward and as he drifts to the ground a transformation begins, in a great flash of light he lands, not as bird but as a human, a young man with ash blonde hair donned in khaki shorts and a t-shirt.
He turns revealing his deep emerald eyes and then walks over and plops him self on one of the wooden tables as the older man begins skinning the rabbit.
“Did you find the girl, Silvanus?” The old man asked as he worked.
“Of course Grandfather, but she does not know who she is.” The boy replied
“Did you expect her to, my dear changeling?” The old one questioned as he looked up at the boy.
“No, I didn’t Hideaki, I suppose I was the same way…” The boy said trailing off. He starts to speak again but His elder hushes him.
“I sense her, her mind has followed you here, though her body has not. She is seeing all this as a dream. She is more ready for this then I had anticipated. The time of her power waxing is growing near. You must bring her to me Silvanus, bring her to me Joshua.”
“I shall do what you ask druid, ancient one.”
“Hurry young one, for as her powers wax, so doth his, and he is strong already, if he should find here before the balance is complete…”
“Yes, Hideaki, I know. But I should be off.”
“Good luck my son. And many thanks for dinner.”
The boy bids his farewell and with a jump into the air and a flash of light he soars into the sky, as the old hermit completes skinning the corpse and stretches the pelt on the drying rack before placing the rest of the meat in a pot and returning to the cottage.
Voices, voices surround me, and the air smells of latex, aspirin and tincture of iodine. My eyelids flew open and I sat up to find myself on a cot in a small room of a cabin. “Where am I?” I groaned even though I was perfectly aware that I was in the first aid station.
As if on cue, the most jovial women I had ever seen, stuck her head into the room. “Ah finally awake I see! Gave us quite a scare you did.” I started to push the thin sheets off of me to get out as she hobbled over to the bed. “Its not to often that you see people faint like you did deary, I can’t let you get up quite yet, you might have had a concussion.”
“I feel just fine.” I told the nurse as I slid out of the bed. “How long have I been out?” I walked to the door of the small room.
“Well…” the nurse began. “The young man in the waiting room carried you in here… Oh… It had to have been around 7:30 or 8pm…”
I whirled around quickly, “Young man?” I asked quickly. The nurse nodded, pointing to the waiting room. “He’s in there, but, you need to…” I was already out of that cramped room, If I had a concussion, so be it, but I felt fine, and I needed to see Josh, everything that was happening was strange, yet I knew, that it was real, not some silly dream.