Once Upon A Faeries Wand
By Leah N. Dodendorf
Private Detective Pix Z. Dust Narrator Kira the Faerie Queen Dacre the Elf Monique the Advisor of Kira Ophelia – Pix’s Secretary
Scene 1 Kira’s Throne Room
(Curtain is drawn and narrator comes out in front) from stage right
Narrator: Once upon a time…
Pix Z.: (Burst in from stage left) NO!!!! Cut right now. I will NOT have MY story started like that.
Narrator: (irritated) And just how do want YOUR story to be started?
Pix Z: Well um…
Nar. : Ha, big tough Private Detective can’t even figure out how to start something.
Pix Z.: You wanna start something? Start this! (Advances with fist on Narrator)
Kira: (peeks head in from curtain) Are we ready go yet? (Notices the fight coming on and starts to brake it up) Whoa, boys, boys, we have a story to tell now get back stage, (with emphasis) NOW! (Shoos them off as they walk off embarrassed) Now, where were we? Oh yes I remember, hello folks. Sorry about those two, they ALWAYS fight. Any way welcome to our story and enjoy! (Exit through curtain)
(Curtain opens to Kira’s throne room where she is lazily sitting on her throne playing with her wand and jewelry.)
Kira: (Sighs) This ruling stuff isn’t as fun as it looks. I’ve only been on the throne for 3 weeks and I’m already bored with it. I’m only 18 decades old and I am trying to run a whole kingdom. All the people want is for me to solve their problems. (Stands up) Ok that’s it! I’m going out, its time to have some fun! (Drops wand, throws off crown and exits SL)
Dacre: (skips on stage from SR) Oh boy oh boy! Lookie what dear cousin, I mean, Queen, Kira left on the floor! (Goes over to throne and picks up wand) Wow this thing is so cool! I’m sure she won’t care if I borrow it. (Grins) Who knows maybe I’ll just not return it. (Laughs crazily) Oh no, some one’s coming. (Hides behind throne)
(Kira comes marching back in from SL with Monique right behind her)
Monique: Now Kira you know you must stay here! You have duties to the people.
Kira: Yes I know, but why can’t the people solve their own problems?
Monique: because some times it’s easier for problems to get solved when a powerful mediator is involved.
Kira: Whatever, and by the way its Queen Kira, to you. (Goes and sits in throne)
Monique: (picks crown off floor and dusts it off, hands to Kira stand to the right of the throne) I know its hard dear, but the people must come first.
Kira: (Takes Crown and looks at it for a while) Yes I suppose so. (Puts on crown, begins to look for wand)
Monique: Now, as for your schedule for this afternoon… (Notices Kira not paying attention) What is it now?
Kira: My wand, I can’t find my wand.
Monique: Well where did you leave it?
Kira: Right here, I swear I left it right here on this table. I swear I did.
Monique: Hmmm… well let’s look around.
(Dacre sneaks of stage with pointer finger raised to lips, Monique starts looking and Kira sits down on throne. Narrator enters from SL goes to DC)
Narrator: 3 hours later (exits SR)
Monique: (Comes from behind throne, mocking Kira) “ I left it right here on this table” Sure you did, and I’m a dwarf….
Kira: How come you never told me you were a dwarf?
Monique: I give up! You are going to have to find your wand on your own.
Kira: But, But…. (Gets up and starts to go after)
Monique: NO!!! (Exit SL and doesn’t look back.)
Kira: What am I going to do? (Paper airplane flies in, Kira unfolds it and looks at it) Hmmm this will do. (Exits SR)
Scene 2 Pix Z’s Office
(Pix Z. is at his desk lounging on his rolly chair with feet on his desk and hat over his eyes. Ophelia is sitting at her desk on the other side of a divider wall typing up something.)
Pix Z.: (from desk) it was a normal day, a day I had no cases, a day, well… It was a day. And then she walked in…
(On cue Kira walks in on SL, stands to the right of the Ophelia’s desk looking around the office)
Ophelia: (looks up a Kira then shouts) Pix Z.! Cut it out would ya? (Continues typing)
Pix Z.: (continues any way) I could tell by looking at her that this girl, this dame was in trouble.
Kira: (addressing Ophelia) Excuse me miss, is Mr. Pix Z. Dust Available?
Ophelia: Oh trust me Hun, you don’t want to go out with him.
Kira: WHAT? no that’s not what I meant. I mean I have a case for him.
Ophelia: OH, ok let me ask. (Picks up phone, dials. It rings in the next room)
Pix Z.: Yes?
Ophelia: There is a young woman here to see you, should I send her in?
Pix Z: No I do not want any seafood, thank you any way. (Hangs up)
Ophelia: (to self) Stupid phone system. (To Kira) Just a sec.
Kira: Ok I guess.
Ophelia: (Yelling) Pix Z!
Ophelia: Is it ok if I send some one in?
Ophelia: (Back to Kira) Alright, go right in.
Kira: Finally…(walks to door goes in to office). Hello, your Detective Dust I presume?
Pix: Yes what can I do for you Doll? (Gets his feet of his desk and throws off hat, fixes hair)
Kira: Well first you can stop calling me doll, and second you can help me find my wand.
Pix: No problem doll….
Kira: I told you not to call me that….
Pix: Oh, right, sorry, ummmmmmmm, so what can you tell me about this wand.
Kira: Well I was sitting on my throne, and then got up, left it on a table, and when I came back it was gone.
Pix: Hold on rewind, Throne?
Kira: Yeah, throne, as in my royal throne.
Kira: I’m Kira, the Faerie Queen, duh.
Pix:(embarrassed, moves nervously, throws himself in front of her feet) Oh your Majesty! (Starts bowing, and kissing feet)
Kira: (disgusted) OK! That’s enough, just find my wand before something terrible happens.
Pix: (scrambles up) Ok. (Brushes himself off) So, any way… (Walks back to his chair) Have a seat and tell me about all you can remember about the wand and where you left it.
Kira: All right. (Walks over, takes chair sits profile right facing Pix,) Well I was sitting in my throne, being extremely bored, and then decided to get up and go do something interesting. I laid my wand and crown and wand on a table by my throne and left. That was around 10 am. About 10 minutes later I came back in with my advisor Monique right behind me. When I came back the crown was on the floor and the wand was gone. We looked 3 hours for it then I finally decided to come to you.
Pix: Interesting story. Well let’s go back to the scene of the crime. (Gets up, puts on trench coat and hat and goes to door. Followed by Kira.)
Pix: Ophelia, I’ll be back later. This is extremely important so take the rest the day off and close up for me.
Ophelia: Yeah, whatever.
(pix and Kira walk off sl, Curtians close, Narrator comes on)
Narrator: And so Kira, and Pix Z. Dust Left his office to go back to the scene of the crime, Kira’s throne room.