Thats what the last few days have been like. I ran out of meds because I missed my appointment with Dr. Bremmer because of work. ((I called it in and let them know, and also that I needed meds because I was going to run out.)) Then yesterday I crashed, didn’t go into work, didn’t call or anything. Then I let the dishes pile up and I haven’t taken care of the bunny litter. I just slept.
Then I didn’t go to NAMI last night, and I didn’t make my appointment with Summer this morning, and it finally finished with me calling into work 15 minutes before work was supposed to start. Then I called Mom, and she yelled at me, and I deserved to be yelled at, especially all the yelling she did when she called me back.. I ruined her hair appointment.
The third time we talked she was less mad. I talked to summer, she’s going to see if there’s any way we can get in next week sometime before my regular appointment. I felt helpless, and I know I should have tried harder to not run out of meds. The gal had called to tell me Bremmer had written me a script yesterday, and also told me I needed to make an appointment, (I have one, for the 11th) That just made things worse… I had an appointment, I’m not trying to avoid my help on purpose… I don’t think.
I’m all muddled up. I don’t mean to be.
So how do I stop this from happening again? How do I stay strong and make things happen for myself like mom says so clearly at me. Well one… stay on the freaking medecine, which realkly was an accident this time, I should have tried to get work changed on tuesday but I thought I’d be ok. I thought I was ok when mom did her calling. I was a little down, but I’ve done that before, I didn’t want them to worry. I still don’t want them to worry. I should have made sure it was taken care of.
Thinking on it. Usually I’m ok… you know? Ok is the best I’ve got right now.